Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Wasps Must Die.

Since I started working (learning, procrastinating, stressing) next to my window, I've noticed something: insects seem to really like hanging out here. Whether it's throwing themselves against the glass, or going round and round in little circles, there's always at least one Insect Incident every three minutes. Yes, I have been counting (blame it on my revision stopwatch), and no, I do not know why they do this. Especially wasps. Before I realised that my window was the equivalent of an ASBO-philic street corner, I thought I was going crazy.

I'd hear a buzzing sound, look up, and see...a pigeon staring at me from the leafy branches of a tree, i.e. absolutely nothing. Much to my bewilderment, this would continue for a few hours every day. Was it the exam stress that was making me go insane? I even started talking to myself. And then, one very recent day, I finally spotted the culprits: the wasp! And to my horror, it was not just one wasp, but TWO, emerging from my window frame to go forage for stuff before returning!

It dawned upon me that these wasps were attempting to nest in MY window. NononoNO, this could not do, I thought. It's not acceptable for there to be any extra tenants in my room unless they are of the homo sapiens variety, so in classic Luo fashion, I decided to ask Facebook for help:
~ creative methods for getting rid of the pair of wasps that are attempting to nest in my window, anyone?
Yesterday at 18:43

Let's have a quick look at the responses, shall we?

1. Unicorns!

I'm not quite sure that my friend has grasped the fact that unicorns are mythological for a reason. Moving on...

2. Get a bunch of these mofos and swarm the mothefucker

MOAR BEEEES?!?! Sadly, this is not the most practical method with my limited resources.

3. wasp and fly killer, or deodorant

The most sensible one so far: thanks Agent Double T.

4. Vacuum cleaner is the best way.

Hmm. Trying to explain why I'm waving a vacuum nozzle out of my window sounds like a good test of my sanity.

5. surely lynx/lighter

This was also suggested by my brother. People seem to like this idea: "that doesn't set off fire alarms actually, that's some good shit"

6. chopstick an wok, belly tastee!!

Orly? I hope this person wasn't implying that I stir fry and then consume the wasp with rice.

7. Set the room on fire. seems to be a very popular theme here... O_o

In the end, I waited until the wasps left the hole in my window frame and then proceeded to slam my window shut. As summer is fast approaching, I realise that this is a very short term strategy. The wasps seem to know this because after throwing themselves against the glass for a little while in a fit of rage, they buzz off elsewhere and then return when I can't take it any longer and open the window again.

Could they be smarter than crows?

I know they're watching me...

And nowadays, I keep on hearing the buzzing...

Even when they're not there.


On a side note, I have a job interview tomorrow which I'm supposed to be preparing for so I don't know why I'm writing this. Also going home for the weekend, so no updates for the next few days. Happy 22nd to the 25th of April, folks!

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